The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman: My Key Takeaways

  • The in-love experience is just a temporary emotional high. Once that fades away, the real love begins
  • When our emotional tanks are full, we naturally gain the confidence to move out to reach our highest potential in life
  • Receiving affirming words makes us more likely to be motivated to reciprocate
  • Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a commitment. A choice to show mercy, and not to hold offence up against the offender.
  • Always maintain eye contact, it signifies that you are giving full attention to the speaker
  • We are all influenced by our personality but never controlled by it.
  • Love is a choice, and either partner can start the process today.
  • The need for significance is the emotional force behind much of our behaviour
  • True love always liberates
  • The complaints of your spouse will give you a hint of what their love language is
  • Love is not the answer for everything however, it creates an environment to discuss and seek solutions
  • Most problems in marriage has got to do with unmet emotional needs.
  • As human we biologically crave for being loved
  • To belong to a certain group or be accepted to be part of them is a primal desire
  • Every individual speak a different love language. Some speak by expressing with words, and some express by behaviour.
  • Children crave for love and they misbehave when they dont get the love from their parents
  • Verbal compliments are far greater motivators than nagging words
  • When we receive affirming words, we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate
  • Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world for your spouse’s perspective
  • Using verbal communication as a love language we are showing that we believe in them and giving credit and praise
  • Intimacy in any relationship can be restored with forgiveness
  • The best thing we can do about the past to let them be history
  • Forgiveness is a commitment, rather than a feeling. Its a conscious choice to show mercy
  • Love makes request, not demands
  • The only way to develop an intimate relationship is to know each other’s desires.
  • When you make demands, you become a tyrant
  • A request creates the possibility for an expression of love, whereas demands suffocates possibility.
  • One of the deepest human desire is the need to feel appreciated.
  • Spending time together offers the chance to have joy in spending each other’s time together. What happens at an emotional level is what matters.
  • Quality conversation requires not only sympathetic listening but also self-revelation.
  • Emotions are simply our psychological responses to the events of life.
  • We are influenced by our personality and not influenced by it
  • Doing quality activities requires prioritising your partner’s activity over yours even if its not something you enjoy, because the result is you get to spend your life with someone you truly love and someone who cares for you
  • Gift giving is another language of love. It has been practiced since ages across cultures
  • A gift is a representation of love, which speaks, “I thought of you”
  • In order to become an effective gift giver, you may need to change your money habits a little bit
  • Investing in your loved ones with a gift, is equivalent investing in blue chip stocks
  • Physical presence is the most important gift you can give someone who is in the time of crisis.
  • At the heart of love is the spirit of giving
  • Gift giving is another language of love. It has been practiced since ages across cultures
  • A gift is a representation of love, which speaks, “I thought of you”
  • In order to become an effective gift giver, you may need to change your money habits a little bit
  • Investing in your loved ones with a gift, is equivalent investing in blue chip stocks
  • Physical presence is the most important gift you can give someone who is in the time of crisis.
  • At the heart of love is the spirit of giving
  • Before marriage we are carried along by the force of the in-love obsession. After marriage, we revert to being the people we were, before we fell in love.
  • Our actions are influenced by the model of our parents, our own personality, our perceptions of love, our emotions, needs and desires.
  • When you treat your spouse as objects, we preclude the possibility of love. Manipulation by guilt is not a language of love.
  • Physical touch can make or break a relationship.
  • Hugging your spouse before going for shopping can communicate low and make her come back sooner.
  • If your spouse’s love language is touch, there is nothing more important than touching her while she cries.
  • Most sexual problems in marriages have got little to do with technics, but more to do with meeting emotional needs.
  • If your deepest pain is judgemental words, then your love language is words of affirmation.
  • Poor choices in the past don’t mean that we must make them in the future
  • The in-love experience temporarily meets one’s emotional need for love. It gives us the feeling that someone cares, admires and appreciates us.
  • Love is a choice and either partner can start the process today
  • Love is the interface all things that we need emotionally
  • The need for significance is the emotional force behind much of our behaviour. Life is driven by the desire for success
  • Love is not the answer to everything but it creates a climate of security where we can seek answers to those things that bother us
  • Anger held inside becomes hate
  • Loving someone who hates you is really challenging but fruitful in the long run.
  • Being consistent with using someone’s love language, helps to fill the other person’s love tank, even if it is someone who hates you.

Now, over to you..

I would love to know you what were your key takeaways from this book. Feel free to share in the comments below.

By | 2019-05-02T11:49:26+00:00 April 14th, 2019|0 Comments

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